4/09/2013

The Post Where I Find Out I'm a Pervert

HELLOOOOOOOO, PARTY PEOPLE.  What's up with you?

I've been working a metric fuckton.  It happens.  When I get swamped, I usually refer to it as "in the hole," like where'd they'd put you in prison for being an asshole++.  I've been in the hole for about 6 weeks now.  Usually when I'm in the hole, I will just put whatever music on my iTunes that I have the most of, so I don't have to stop and change the music as much, and I've been on a Dinosaur Jr binge for this particular time in the hole.  I've listened to every single Dinosaur Jr album, from 'Dinosaur' to 'I Bet on Sky,' plus all the b-side albums and imports and live albums and J Mascis solo albums.  According to my iTunes, I've listened to all of them 31 times, which works out to about 385 hours that I've been in my office by myself.  GOOD TIMES.  At least I know that when I am on my deathbed, I won't have regrets that I didn't spend enough time alone in my office.

I've mainly been getting my comics up to date ("up to date" meaning "stocked up for the foreseeable future."  Y'all know your girl puts her back in it.)  Aside from that, I've been busting my ass getting my polish site redesigned and making polish and all the thrilling stuff that comes with getting a new project rolling.  I'm all done with that now, though, so you ought to check it out if you haven't already!  I think it looks pretty good, and I think all the polishes I made look good.  Usually when I make polish, I will make about 9 million colors and test them all, and then chuck out 99% of them because I am picky, so the cream that rises to the top tends to be pretty legit.  Also, my nails are so fucked and soft that everything I buy chips on me in about 5 minutes.  I test everything and I don't put stuff on the list of polishes to make unless I can keep them on, unchipped, for at least a couple days, which is a miracle if you consider that I spend all day typing and packing boxes and making nail polish.  HIGH FIVE, ME.  WAY TO GO, ME.  YEAH.
Fancy City, Nicelahoma.  Population: Me

LET'S BEAUTYBLOG THIS MOTHERFUCKER.
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I thought that I would revisit the bodyhair removal topic today, since the last post about it was supposed to be an appetizer for the main course of me basically maiming myself so I can make comparisons about hair removal techniques. 

After the last hair removal post, I ordered a Braun Silk-Epil epilator thingy.  I picked this one because it had good reviews, and because you can switch the head out and use it as a regular shaver, which I thought would be a good way to make sure I didn't totally waste my money when I decided that I didn't like epilating.

Okay, so I got the epilator.  I just don't know how I can weave a story around using it to make it more intriguing or whatever.  I charged it up, then I put off using it for a few days, and then I bit the bullet and did it.  

If you don't know what an epilator is, it's basically a ton of little spinning tweezers that spin around and around and rip all your hair out.  I am pretty hard, I am not a puss about things hurting.  I have vast swaths of my body tattooed, I've had catheters and injured my knees and ankles and I can just ignore shit like that and let it slide.  Don't even get it twisted and think I am being hyperbolic when I say that epilating fucking sucked with the power of 1000 suns.  Damn.  I have a tendency to cuss a bit (no shit) but the epilator hurt so badly that I did not cuss when I was using it.  It was so painful that I was hollering pleas to the Virgin Mary and Ned Flanders-style curses, nothing that would have actually got bleeped out if someone made an reality TV show about me epilating.  Strange.  

I got a patch about as big as a Hershey bar done before I had to quit, and then I was spanked for the rest of the night from all my fight-or-flight responses firing off like crazy.  Pretty stressful!  I think the worst part of it was the pain (duh) coupled with seeing the epilator flinging ripped-out leg hairs all over when I was using it.  Pretty grody.

Of course, it hurt so badly it was actually comedic, so I got Drew to let me make a movie of me epilating his leg.  He has enough hair, he can spare some for the sake of mirth.  Please note how melodic the epilator is.  Beautiful.

After the epilator adventure, I was going to try waxing, but I was REALLY hesitant after that horrible hell-nightmare.  I felt victimized by epilating, but I had to wax for the sake of this blog (damn, my life its totally fucked.)

I went out and picked up a Bliss Poetic Waxing kit, again, because it seemed to have pretty good reviews.  If you've never seen/used this, it's basically a microwavable mug with wax in it, and some useless cleanser stuff and some azulene oil, which is that blue oil that comes with basically every waxing kit ever.  

I tried it out on Easter evening, because it seemed like a good way to celebrate the resurrection of Christ.  I microwaved it, which took a lot longer than the packaging would suggest, then I went to town.  There were a few awkward moments, when my 4 year old daughter was asking me what I was making... 

"Wax," I said.  I wanted to be vague in hopes she'd not inquire further.
"Why you mating wax?" (That isn't a typo, she pronounces Ks like Ts.  I'm gonna type like she sounds.)
"Because I am going to put it on my leg."
"Why you putting wax on you leg?"
"....Because I am going to use it to rip the hair out of my leg."
"Ohhhhhh.  Why you dohing to rip the hairs out of you leg?"
"Because society enforces some fucked-up gender norms, and one of them is that women should be hairless even though they grow hair.  Sometimes women do dumb shit to go along with those dumb gender norms, and think it will make them look better, but it hurts and it doesn't actually make them look that much better."
"Ohhhh.  Wax my lehd!"
---END SCENE---

Okay, so here is the part of this post where I find out that I'm apparently a pervert.

I put this wax on my leg and I rip it off and it is life affirming and fills my heart with joy.  I try it again, in case I was just having some kind of weird shock reaction, and it still pretty much rules ass.  I kept waxing my legs until it was time for bed.  Here is the part of the post where I tell you to not buy that Bliss Poetic Waxing kit because there is NOT enough wax in that mug, and it is a pain in the ass to keep going to the kitchen to heat the wax back up, and it is too expensive.  I resorted to reheating used wax, which wasn't that awesome.  I shouldn't have to do gross shit in order to get my money's worth out of some kind of fancy product.

Obviously, I went out to Sally a day or two later and got one of their little $20 wax crockpots and a couple 14 oz. tubs of wax.  You know, because I am a pervert and I love sitting around ripping all my hair out.    That whole set up was less than the Bliss kit, and I can wax the whole universe and not have to use the microwave even once. 

For the sake of being informative, I have been using hard wax, which is apparently different than the other kind of wax, and hurts less since it doesn't stick to your skin as much.  All I know is that waxing tickles every gross part of my psyche that wants to dig out an ingrown hair or stare at my Biore strip or pick a scab or whatever.  It's exhilarating.  Ripping it off is how I imagine it would feel to get a goal, or slam dunk or something if you were one of those sports-doers.  I'm all like "rip," then I'm all like YEESSSSSSSSSS!!!!  I don't think I've loved something like this since the first time I smoked a cigarette, only I will never have to quit waxing for my health and then spend the rest of my life thinking about it longingly.

I will update you if I wax so much that I only have pubes left, and end up picking HOMEGROWN BRAZILIAN from this Choose Your Own Adventure of bodyhair removal.




77 comments:

  1. I've also been on a major Dino Jr/J/et al binge, and I found the freesofree login I made when I was 15 (with the dumbest username ever, I spent like 3 hours trying to figure out where I came up with it to no avail) so I've been snagging bootlegs like a fiend.
    Anyway, I've always tended to err away from waxing because I'm afraid it will take too long and not be effective (since I am actually a Sasquatch) but now I think I'll give it another try, thanks to your description. Occasionally I'll get a wild hair up my ass/eyebrow and try to wax the brows, but that always ends up being a complete disaster and then I swear off any type of waxing forever. But if it's as satisfying as picking an ingrown hair I am sold!

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    1. it's not that fast, but i've just been doing an area an evening. i figure i will get it all before it grows back in, and once it does grow back in, it will hopefully be a little finer so i can do it faster next time.

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    2. I'll have to try that approach. I usually go into waxing with an "all-or-nothing" attitude, but since I have the patience of a goldfish I end up patchy and waxy and upset.

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  2. My best friend swears by her epilady, I myself am not that sadistic. The week before her wedding she and I participated in the great de-hairing of her legs, underarms as well as her nethers. There was a bit of blood when we did her armpits I won't lie. Traditionally she and I both let everything grow out but since she and her husband were honeymooning in Mexico she wanted to be of the hairless variety for the trip. I have never tried to properly wax my legs but your description intrigues me. I once used some of those horrible rub together strips from Sally Hansen and that was a nightmare of pain and horror the end resulted in sticky legs and zero leg hair removal. I have also used the same sort of wax strips on my eyebrows. With similar results like Alanna. They work well for that area but I usually end up looking more Picasso-esque than Rubensesque.

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  3. Natalie, you have really given me something to think about here. I LOVE waxing. I've only ever waxed my lady bits and underarms and I've only ever used the Bliss stuff (which I'm not super impressed with for all of the reasons you weren't, so thanks for the recommendation on the wax warmer). I was unaware that this made me a pervert, or perhaps I was in denial and didn't want to admit it. Either way, just reading this post makes me want to go wax my legs. *rip* YEEESSSSSSSSS!

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    1. i think the pervert line exists between waxing because you like how your legs feel after you are done waxing, and sitting around your house like YES! WAX IT! WAX IT! WAX IT!! and the waxing itself is your main reason for liking it.

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  4. I swear by my heat epilator. It was an expensive fucker, but it actually does seem to be keeping my hair from growing back at its regular super sayan pace. Also, no pain.

    Waxing makes my skin all red and blotchy before it even takes half of the hair out. Which makes me sad.

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    1. did you use hard wax? i missed some hairs before i got my technique down, but once i did, it seemed to get everything pretty reliably. also, you can put a little of that azulene oil on first, so the wax just sticks to the hairs and it doesn't rip skin off and make it get too inflamed.

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  5. Speaking of music, how rediculously stoked are you for the new Ghostface Killah album? As a reader of your old blog, I know Ghostface is your jam (as is mine). NPR did an interview with Adrian Younge who produced it and that shit sounds tight as all hell. I cannot WAIT to nab me a copy!

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    1. it's embarrassing how out of the loop i am. when new albums come out, i usually find out when i am looking for music, and i see something and i'm like HEYYY SO-AND-SO HAS A NEW ALBUM. when i do stay on top of things, like when farm and i bet on sky came out, i will get the albums pretty quickly, but i will still not get around to listening to them for a while, so i am still behind the times. i just started listening to the newer dinosaur jr albums recently, even though i've had them all since they came out. they're all real good but i think i just don't like lou barlow that much hahahaha.

      i am sure the new ghostface is gonna be good, cause there's never been a ghostface album that wasn't good.

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  6. Here's a little bit of professional advice for making hard wax go faster. The key is to lay down a bunch of wax before you start lifting it off. For example, when I wax faces I will put a strip on the sideburn, a strip between the sideburn and upper lip, a strip on one half of the upper lip (so picture one half of the face with three strips of wax and two strips of bare skin). Then on the other side I will basically cover those two strips of bare skin. Then I lift all that off and put more wax down on the opposite parts.

    I am giving you the face example because faces have parts that can be divided. But the basic idea is the same for your leg. You can put stripes of wax over about a fourth of your lower leg at one time (picture the front half of your leg, covered with 3-4 inch strips of wax about an inch wide with an inch of bare skin between).

    But if you are enjoying the process taking several days, maybe my advice doesn't seem that good.

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    1. no, that's good advice. the more waxing i can get done, the more i get to wax haha.

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  7. I've had professional wax jobs that were not that painful, and that I was excited about at the time-but then I developed bad cases of whiteheads in the waxed areas (which I don't usually get). The two things were clearly associated... Since you had basically the same experience with epilators that I did, I would be curious to hear what your impressions were a few days after waxing, and then again after a week or two.

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    1. i am gonna say that i am NOT going to wax my face. the most face waxing i do is my eyebrows once every couple months to clean up the peach fuzz that builds up while i am tweezing. waxing and depilatories and bleach and all that stuff ALWAYS makes my face freak the hell out. i haven't noticed any problems on my legs where i've waxed so far, and the oldest section is a week old, so i'm feeling pretty positive about it.

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    2. Mollyeileen--those whiteheads are little infected spots where your body's own bacteria took advantage of the open follicle to create a new little home. People with sensitive skin tend to experience this more than others. You can avoid some of it by showering soon after you wax, especially if you are sweaty. Also, some estheticians have an attachment on their facial machine that creates an electrical current that is anti-bacterial. I use this on myself (and on a few of my clients) to help avoid breakouts after waxing.

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    3. I wax my face cuz I get a bit of a lady-beard (damn my hormones!) and have discovered a few tricks that work pretty well to prevent whiteheads. 1) Before I wax, I wash my face, then put straight up hand sanitizer on and let it dry for a minute. 2) I use a little bit of a non-talc powder to prevent the wax from sticking. You can even just use a little flour. 3)After I wax, I use the azulene oil and let it sit for a few minutes, then I use hand sanitizer again. It burns for a few seconds, but it gets the job done. 4) I like to use a clay masque within the next few hours. I try to leave the azulene on for a bit, though, so I usually wait for at least 30-60 minutes. 5) I try not to use makeup for 12-24 hours afterward so everything can breath, and because makeup tends to be a little more bacteria-y than most of us want to think about.

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  8. 1. knowing what you now know, would you wax your pits??
    2. go, drew! team player! hearing you two on video always makes me think wheelbarrow from define any word. it's a happy thought.
    3. my kid also pronounced her Ks like Ts. and her Js like Ds. she grew out of it and is in college now but there are certain words we still sometimes say the way she used to say them. tute!

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    1. i think i will probably end up waxing my pits, at least once. would just be one rip, and i'm all cocky from waxing all my appendages. i still think it's gonna hurt pretty bad, but it can't be worse than the epilator haha.

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    2. Waxing your pits is AMAZING. Seriously. I'm kind of meh about waxing my legs but waxing my pits is so awesome. I imagine it's like what it would be like if the Biore strip, ingrown hair picking, and leg waxing had a baby and you got to pull it out of your skin.

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    3. Apparently as a kid I switched K's & T's, so I always introduced myself as Telly. Nearly 30 years later and my parents still make fun of me over it. Don't be like them!!

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    4. I've waxing my pits myself using one of those Sally Hansen ready strip thingies, and I've gotten it to work pretty well. It takes me about an hour, blame my east Indian heritage. Going to a salon nearby run by some nice Asian ladies rocks; they go to town and finish the job in about 15 minutes, and also tweeze errant hairs out. All for under $20. But the wait time between waxing sucks during the summer months. And I LOVE getting my eyebrows threaded, as I hate tweezing. In college, I nearly tweezed my eyebrows off, since it was a nervous habit. Now, I just avoid touching tweezers for fear that I'll become a maniac again.

      BTW, love your blog + comics + POLISH!!! Yay you!!

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  9. I've tried just about every body hair removal trick there is, and I actually liked my epilator the best. I could still see my black hair underneath my pale-ass skin with shaving; I liked waxing, but it meant I had to spend a week growing my hair out long enough; and any Nair type stuff was just complete shit to deal with, and left me with red skin, patchy legs, and smelling like a wet dog.

    All of the reviews I read for epilators either said it was a complete savior, or read like yours. I took a chance, and thank God. Same results as waxing, but I don't have to wait for the hair to grow out. It does hurt, but no more than waxing did for me. I read somewhere that if you had been waxing for a while, it was less painful So, just sayin', if in a few months you're feeling particularly masochistic, give it another shot?

    But for real, when I am feelin financially capable, I'm getting laser hair removal. And lasik eye surgery. Just lasers all over my body until I'm pretty.

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  10. 1. How long do you anticipate the waxing to last before you see growth again?

    2. Are those your natural nails? If so, super job keeping them a great length. I need to stop peeling mine off...

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    1. they say it's up to 6 weeks, but i think it will probably be closer to 3-4. we'll see, though. my epilated patch was still hairless when i waxed, and that was a couple weeks prior.

      nope. i had fakes ones put on before i took pictures and just painted those because my nails were fucked by time i got to the point of needing to take pics, and i wanted to be able to swatch on a larger area anyway. the sad side-effect of liking polish enough that you want to make it is that touching all that pigment, and solvent, and cleaning stuff with isopropyl for months at a time totally destroys your nails. i had to keep them trimmed to nubs the whole time i was making the polish. they're grown out now, but i usually keep them grown to my fingertips or just a little past that since i use my hands so much. the long nails were def a temporary thing.

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  11. Once upon a time, back in the high school days, I tried a depilatory cream for my legs. It was bad. I've got super-pale, rather sensitive skin that rarely sees the light of day. I ended up with a wretched chemical burn that took weeks to go away. It was just in a fairly small spot, but it was still awful. I told one of my teachers about it, and she told me the story of how she did the same thing only the burn took over every single spot that got Nair-ed and she couldn't wear pants for a week. I'm pretty sure the chemicals in that shit is the same stuff in Dran-O.

    I have totally different kinds of hair on every body part, so I've had to learn to mix and match. Waxing has worked out okay for my face and arms, but when I try it on my legs or anywhere I have coarser hair it stays goosebumpish and irritated, so I have to go for the razor on my legs and an electric shaver for ladyparts and pits.

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  12. I actually use Sally Hanson's cold wax and I love it. I totally use it on my armpits and it is my FAVORITE thing. I tried hot wax in my armpits and that was the biggest mistake because my pits did not get cold enough for the wax to actually harden and so it just got sticky and weird.

    and then I couldn't get it off

    it just hurt

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  13. Hey, Natlie, what color are your Fancy City nails? Is that color still available from Super Black? I am poking around the website but maybe missing it. It is pretty awesome!

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    1. that's the whale. it's grey and flashes aqua like that when the light hits it.
      http://superblacklacquers.com/collections/super-black-lacquers/products/the-whale

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  14. Thanks! And sorry I spelled your name wrong. For some reason I can't backspace when I comment... But great, I'll go order it. :-)

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  15. :) This made me think of the first(and ONLY) time I tried to wax myself. I stupidly put a wax strip on my bikini line and I coundn't bring myself to rip it off! I was walking around the house trying to figure out what to do and I ended up taking two Vicodins and ripped about 1/16th of it before I gave up. I cut most of it off and waited for my boyfriend at the time to come over and (slowly!because he didn't know what he was doing)rip it off. It was THE worst hair removal experience I have had ever.Then I had like one very attractive semi-bald patch down there amid the mess.sexy.

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  16. One time my friend asked me to wax her lip with this microwave, no-strips wax stuff. I used WAYYY too much and she had like, a 1/2 inch of hard wax to pick off her lip after we tried to soften it with the blow dryer, hot towels, and everything we could think of. She was alternately sobbing and laughing hysterically and had a totally gross red patch on her lip for days. I am not an aesthetician. I'd be really nervous to wax myself, though you do make it sound so satisfying. Random bit of trivia: my sister works in a salon and the girls there (everywhere?) call the wax strips (after they've been pulled off with the hair on them) "pickles". They get really excited about the "good pickles", which always make me think of how awesome it is to rip off a Biore strip.

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  17. Ooooh, I love that you're capturing this process--I've been going through the same trial and error this year, trying to find some hair removal process that works...started with the epilator, then moved onto hard wax and have now moved into the kind that you put the muslin strips on and rip off (I use the Gigi espresso honee). The hard wax was fine for small areas, like underarms or lip, but it seemed to take forever to do my legs. With the strips, you don't have to wait for the wax to harden, just apply, press the strip onto it and rip-YESSSS to your heart's content. I bought the muslin strip in an economy roll and cut it to size depending on what area I'm doing. I have had a few issues with ingrown hairs, though--I have tried Tend Skin with limited success--I would love to hear if you run into this and if you find a good solution. Oh, one more thing, don't toss the epilator just yet...if you need a quick touch up between waxes, it's not nearly as painful to use when it's only pulling out a few rogue hairs and is quick. Thank you so much for your awesomely honest posts.

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  18. I too suffer from zombie-white skin and dark body hair, and shaving never did an awesome job at disguising that. I tried waxing once or twice and failed miserably, with nothing to show for it but sticky legs and most hairs still resolutely in place.

    I bought the Braun Silk-Epil about two years ago (not sure how many models have come out since then), and you are not overly wrong about the pain. For the first use, anyhow. I can't say it was as bad for me as it seemed to be for you, but it definitely worked, so that made it worth it. And epilating gets not-so-bad as you continue doing it. BUT once you stop for a while, going back is very similar to the first experience. Last night I finally woke my legs from their winter hibernation, and it suuucked. But now I'll only have to touch up once or twice a week, with far less pain involved.

    For reference in case anyone is interested, my epilator is cordless (which is great) and wet/dry (which is useless). Being attached to a cord would be super-inconvenient, as I prefer to distract myself with watching TV, and the couch is probably too far from an outlet for most corded models. The wet/dry feature means I can use it in the shower, which I tried exactly once. Theoretically it's a great time to rip out your hair, since your skin is all relaxed and unsuspecting, but I found that the water kept the tweezers from gripping enough. So it's just yanking and letting go - all the pain without the gain. Not cool. I do rinse the head in the sink, though I'm not sure if that's any more effective than the little cleaning brush thing. I have noticed recently that it's not holding quite as long of a charge as it used to, but definitely not bad for two years of decent use.

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  19. So when I was pregnant and couldn't reach my legs to shave I got the great idea that about a month before my due date husband would wax my legs for me. So we get everything together and go to town. That stuff hurt worse labor and husband got some sort of sadistic glee out of it. I quit one leg half done. It should be noted that husband ripped the strips off so roughly that I had bruises up and down the wax portion of one leg. Shaving for me.

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    1. My stepmom is an aesthetician. If someone rips off the wax strips at the wrong angle it can actually cause separation (i.e., major damage) in the layers in your skin. That is probably why you had bruising.

      If you get waxed again, make sure you have a professional aesthetician doing the waxing, since she will know how to remove the wax strips at the right angle and not cause insane amounts of pain or damage.

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  20. I need to get hard wax. I have a Gigi wax pot set and stupidly got the whatever all purpose wax. It's messy and painful (depending where) and doesn't work that well (region dependent). I had no idea at the time that soft wax is not good errywhere. ALL PURPOSE, MY ENFLAMED REGIONS

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  21. Aww, I love my epilator! It did hurt like hell the first time. I was able to watch all of Equilibrium and I wasn't even done. But it doesn't hurt at all now.

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  22. YESSSSSSSSSSSS. I'm glad I'm not the only pervert. If I had an extra $70 lying around all the time I'd get my legs waxed at the salon as often as possible. I assume it's like the high some people get from tattoos or cutting or whatever shit they're into. I've tried waxing at home but I'm just not patient enough. I'd rather pay and be lazy and get the same feeling.

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  23. Count me as one more in the "I love my epilator!" column. I also use the Braun Silk Epil. I remember it hurting at first, like a got a sweat moustache doing my legs, but it wasn't so bad I didn't do it again. Armpits, too! The good news is it destroys your folicle nerve endings pretty fast, so if you can tough it out those first few times, it stops being an issue. Happy hair removal, whatever your method.

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  24. I wax my eyebrows, but that is it. I use those little Sally Hansen strips you warm up with your hands, and that's only for the most basic of neatness. I usually leave my brows alone, because it looks hella fucked up when girls pluck that shit out all Chola style. Google it, it is gross.

    I use Nair or Schick Intuition razors for my legs, razors on my pits, my lady bits get shaved with a combination of 1) my razor 2) my boyfriends trimmer so I can really get into the nooks and crannys and keep it all cleaned up, if you know what I mean. He doesn't know I use it, but mens trimmers really are better :(

    PLEASE REVIEW THIS PRODUCT: http://www.mirenesse.com/mascara/234-instant-lash-transplant-volumising-kit.html
    I entered a facebook contest to try to win it, but if I don't, I want to know that it doesn't blow dicks before I spend 80 dollars on mascara, which is basically dumb as hell, but whatever.

    I use latisse and super big mascara brushes already anyway, because I believe that eyelashes should touch my freaky caterpillar eyebrows, and I NEED THEM LONGER. LONGER I SAY.

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  25. The epilator is brutal the first time you use it, but the maintenance, when you're ripping out just a few fine regrowth hairs at a time, isn't bad at all. You might want to try it again after you get the worst over with with waxing. Just don't do what I do and get lazy and let it all regrow or you have to start all over. Which still isn't as bad as the first time unless you've gone back to shaving for awhile.

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  26. I wax my pits and bits (during bathing suit season) with Gigi brand Honey wax, and my biggest complaint is that it leaves a sticky residue on my skin. Could I avoid that by using a harder wax? Is is okay to wax my pits with hard wax? I've never tried applying azulene before waxing, cause I always thought the wax wouldn't stick to the hairs afterward. Does that really work? How long does the hair have to be?

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  27. I tried waxing my legs once. I bought some Sally Hansen shit (which was probably my first mistake) and only got about a dime size patch of hair out. So it kind of sucked and the wax damn near fused to my skin and did not come off for days. I'll just stick to my cheap, 2-blade Bic razors I guess.

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  28. Have you verged into bikini territory? I want to try it but am scared. Can you use the same stuff you just bought?

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    1. Supposedly the hard wax is what you want for bikini area, not soft. I think that's the most important thing. That and having the courage to rip it off yourself.

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  29. Remember Nads?! That was my first at home non-shaving hair removal experience.

    I waffle between getting sugared and waxed for my Brazilian. I think I like the wax better because it's warm. The sugar starts cold and can hurt on the tender areas a bit. Plus sugaring is weird cuz all your hair stays in the sugar ball.

    Hair removal is by far the worst part of womanhood.

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    1. NADS!!! The first hair-removal goop I ever tried! I remember trying to wax my bikini line, and ending up in a gooey, sticky mess. I also remember doing a yahoo search for Nads hair removal, and coming up with something... entirely different. But at least now I know what shaved testicles look like.

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  30. I fear epilators so much, and now more so. I get my eyebrows waxed, and I've always wanted (but have always been afraid) to get a bikini wax. I buy those little tiny razors specifically for the purpose instead, and by the end of the week I have bi-level pubic hair. That's sexy. Also, I am now listening to Dinosaur Jr "Where You Been" for the first time in years because of this blog. So thanks.

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  31. I think youve produced some actually interesting points. Not as well many people would basically think about this the way you just did. Im truly impressed that theres so very much about this subject thats been uncovered and you did it so properly, with so substantially class . Good 1 you, man! Truly good stuff right here.
    eye surgery

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  32. Rookie waxing question - how long does your hair need to be before you can wax it? Because I'm interested in waxing my legs, but I also don't want to walk around super hairy for two weeks.

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    1. That's my concern too! I can't stand having hair on my legs/armpits/lady area for more than like 2 days tops, so I always assume that waxing is just a no-go for me.

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  34. I bought an epilator once and tried it for about 30secs, I don't even remotely consider myself a wuss! I hear sugaring hurts less than waxing or is this just another beauty myth? I'm considering grabbing a bag of sugar and making my own paste from a recipe off the internet... probably end in burns, tears, general misery but I have no cash to attack my furry issues with right now

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  35. Completely unrelated to any sort of hair removal: I tried out the cracky coffee. Totally hooked. I think I'm going to try using it in a frozen concoction tomorrow. My only regret is that I only made a half batch in case I didn't like it.

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  36. this is so hilarious! i remember the first time i got a wax and i hated it so hard! and then i got a wax with hard wax and i couldn't even believe getting waxed could actually NOT hurt!

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    1. I second this! I need to find a salon that will do my legs with hard wax, because soft wax just CANES. A Brazilian should not be less painful than my shins.

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  37. I have been epilating since around 2001. I have found that if I have full-thickness hair growth, I cannot epilate because it is too painful. I will go and get professionally waxed, and when it starts to grow back in, just zap it with the epilator every week or two.

    I used a low-end Philips Satinelle epilator for years. Then I got the Sally Beauty Supply wax crock pot and Gigi Hard Wax. It was awesome, except I got wax everywhere. I got really good at waxing my underarms and legs, but could only do my bikini line and never figured out how to do a DIY Brazilian. Maybe I'm just not limber enough.

    Now I use the Philips HP6576 Satin Perfect Deluxe Epilator (white/champagne gold model). It has ceramic discs, it doesn't make as much noise as my old epilator, it has a fancy light on it, and generally it was totally worth it. Like Natalie's Braun, it has a removable head for cleaning, is cordless, and it also has a shaver. I am pretty happy with mine.

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  38. I am not a woman, and my beauty regimen includes washing my hair with soap, but god dammit if this blog isn't funny as fuck. I lol'd many a time.

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  39. The night after I read this, I had a dream in which I meticulously waxed my legs. I've never waxed anything before. So, thanks Natalie, for bringing the pervert in my subconscious! (And now I really want to go to Sally and buy some waxing gear...)

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  40. Even after seeing Drew shriek, I was considering a cheap epilator. Then I read somebody describe it as a meth addict attacking you with tweezers and I'm over it. Hello, GiGi wax kit!

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  41. I've only ever waxed my mons pubis, because I'm that sort of masochist I guess, and while it does hurt like bitch, the thing that I got the biggest thrill out of is the thick dark juicy roots that comes out with them (monster-zit extraction level satisfaction). I will say nearing the end of the job there have been several times I haven't been able to finish, and as you're left with a thick patch of wax on your cooch your body turns you arm into jelly in an attempt to stop the madness (this is usually where I start yelling for my boyfriend to come in and save me from myself).

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  43. I got myself an epilator thinking it was going to solve all hair problems but nooooooo, I couldn't cope either. Always stick with the waxing everytime.

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  44. Just curious if you're into Witch (J Mascis' other band)?

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  45. Since you haven't posted in a while, I have this image of you, locked in your room, waxing away for over a month. RIP! RIP! Oh yeah! :-)

    JK, I know you are busy making awesome nail polish! I think I need the HBIC color, especially since I realized what that stands for. Yes!

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  46. Hey, Natalie. Where you been at?

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  47. This blog is a depressing reminder that you have abandoned it every day that I come to the web page.

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  48. Yeah Natalie, where you been at? I check like, sort of daily. (Biweekly, at least?) to see if you've updated, I miss your posts!

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  49. I put this wax on my leg and I rip it off and it is life affirming and fills my heart with joy. I titaniumtry it again, in case I was just having some kind of weird shock reaction, and it still pretty much rules ass. I kept waxing my legs until it was time for bed.

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  50. I will say nearing the end of the job there have been several times I haven't been able to finish, and as you're titanium supplierleft with a thick patch of wax on your cooch your body

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  51. I took down a post asking where you've been, but I took it down because I didn't want to seem like I was being a bitch about it. We miss you Natalie! I hope you and yours are doing well and hope to hear from you soon :)

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  52. Just got my order from superblack, and now I'm more sympathetic- I GUESSSSS its ok you're not around lately, since this polish is pretty amazing.Just messin' though I know its hard work making such a fine product....but still I miss ya! Even if you posted pics of the polishes I'd be happy!

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    1. I agree with i8- I just got Whip and The Bends in the mail last week and they are pretty fab. But I still want to read more non-bullshitting make up advice. Without you, it's all seche vita and magic eye creams on the internet

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  53. We surely do miss you, but it's worth it to be able to get that faboo Superblack. But I hope you'll find some time for us soon.

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  54. This may have been mentioned already but for anyone who breaks out or gets whiteheads after hair removal, Finipil lotion is the shiz. I get my brows waxed and used to break out like crazy--one of the salons where I got waxed would put this stuff on after waxing and I noticed I broke out less. Then I bought some for myself so I could do it for a few dys in a row after getting waxed and I was amazed!

    A couple yrs ago I started using Nair on my undercarriage (I just don't have the patience for anything else) and using the Finipil (different tube of course) on that business makes it SO much more pleasant as the Nair burns like hell--the Finipil is kind of cooling and I don't break out at all.

    The only catch is it's kind of spendy--$12 for a small tube at the salon, I think I paid $48 for a pack of 6 on Amazon. Worth it to not have my loins on fire for 2 dys after Nairing!

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  55. Hey Natalie! I love your blog, I highlight the ones I like best and use them as reference when I'm shopping for beauty products. I recently got benefit erase paste as your friend recommended for my under-eye circles and it works like a dream. I also picked up the sally hanson wax heater thing and I was wondering, did you ever try waxing your bikini area? I've used it elsewhere with success but I'm nervous. It would probably be quicker to go to european wax center (and cheap too) but there's something about laying on a table with your legs open while you look at the wall and pretend your junk isn't fully exposed that makes me uncomfortable. Weird I know. Any advice?

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