8/17/2012

Magic Isn't Real.


It's finally starting to cool down a little bit in Good Ol' Ohio, and my skin is already starting to get a little dry, like it usually does when it gets cooler outside.  

So, the other day I was looking for some eye cream to use at night, since I usually use a glycolic acid skin cream at night, and you can't really rub that shit on your eyes.  That would be Bad News.  I was looking for something plain, that was just like heavy moisturizer, that is maybe not totally greasy so it wouldn't melt and get on my glasses when I am trying to read before bed.  That's it.  That's what I wanted.






I was looking around, trying to find something that was, like, SUPER MOISTURIZING CREAM FOR EYES or SO BLAND YOU CAN GET IT ALL ON YOUR SCLERA AND IT'S NOT EVEN A THING.  

But!  Eye stuff!!  Is a total load of bullshit!  All of it!  It is the tiniest jars, and the jars claim the most ridiculous, impossible stuff ever.  Then they charge out the nose for it.  

Can we all band together, and agree to stop believing in magic?  People who make skincare products think that we are a bunch of simps, and that we read the massive imaginary bullshit claims on the bottles and are all like, "Well, that sounds good to me.  Ring it up!"

I've just been thinking about this shit lately, because I get email from y'alls, like, "This magic thing, is it worth me spending $200 on it?  Is it really $200 worth of magic?"  Then I look and it is just a bunch of made up words promising to do things that are impossible.  Also, I run into that shit, too, and it cheeses me off.  Even if it seems like it would be a good moisturizer/toner/whatever, once they start talking magic-talk to me, I just put it down because I don't give my money to people who talk to me like I'm a fucking imbecile.

Here's the thing.  Your skin is an organ, right?  Like all your other organs, the longer it's hanging around doing it's thing, the more wore out it gets.  You can't do anything, aside from getting a transplant, that will give you a younger and perkier heart or lung or intestine, and nothing is going to do that to your skin, either.

Like your other organs, you can't reverse wear and tear, only prevent it.  If you eat a bunch of Cinnabon and KFC and sit on the couch all day and have a heart attack, you can't just drink some pomegranate juice and go on a walk and reverse all the damage from the heart attack, right?  But you can eat right and take care of yourself, and when you're 65, you are in better shape than other people that are 65.  The same with your skin.  You can only be nice to it, you can't get sunburns and smoke cigarettes and pop zits, then expect to just use a face wash and have all the sun spots and wrinkles and zit scars go away.  The only thing you can do is use sunscreen, exfoliate gently, moisturize, and cross your fingers.  Just like with your other body parts, the only way to repair actual damage you've done to your face is to have some kind of medical procedure, like laser resurfacing or a facelift or injectables or something.

Basically, the only fair claims a skincare product can make is that is contains certain moisturizing ingredients and moisturizes your skin, it has SPF and will block UVA/UVB rays, or it will exfoliate, with either some grit, or some chemical exfoliant like glycolic, lactic, or salicylic acids, or something similar (like fruit enzymes like pineapple or something.)  That's it.  Those are the only things.  Period.  

There's some acne stuff on the shelf, and it says it's going to make you never break out, and it's going to fade all your old spots.  No, it's not.  It either has too little active ingredient, so it's not going to do anything, or it's a wash and the active ingredient rinses down the drain immediately, or it has benzoyl peroxide or salicylic acid and it irritates the hell out of your face and makes the acne 10x worse and all flakey so your makeup looks fucked up.  Besides, you probably have hormonal acne, so you can scorch your face all you want, but that isn't going to do shit about your hormones.  If over the counter acne stuff worked, nobody would have acne and we'd all be perfect and beautiful with skin the texture of soft serve ice cream.  

You might pick up something, and it will suggest to you that it will take away wrinkles.  That isn't going to happen.  The top layer of your skin is dead, and protects the juicy stuff underneath.  You can't make the dead skin cells do anything at all, aside from swell up a tiny bit with moisturizer (which is just going to make you have nice, pretty wrinkles.)  Nothing is going to penetrate the upper layer of your skin and make it do anything aside from what it is made to do-- keep microorganisms out of your body, make hair, and make face grease.  Your skin doesn't care what you look like, it is not going to adopt new functions like going into retrograde so it can regenerate the skin of a 20 year old.  

When you fuck your skin up, your skin only repairs itself to the point where it can keep the microorganisms out of your juicy parts.  That's why you get scars and pits and stuff.  If your skin wanted you to be pretty, it would heal up all the way and you would never have a mark after popping a zit, but all it is worried about is that you don't get some kind of freaky infection from brushing up against the wrong phonebooth, sooooo...... yup.

Maybe you will pick up an eye cream and it will make a bunch of claims about getting rid of dark circles...  Bullshit.  Dark circles are caused by the vascularity of the area under your eye, and by shadows being cast in that area.  A cream is not going to change the capillaries under your skin, or change the laws of physics so light behaves in a different way, just on your face.

Let's all band together and start being hardasses about this stuff, yeah?  If it is promising to do anything besides taking care of the skin you have, don't believe it.  It's not going to happen.  There isn't a cream or lotion or facewash in the world that is going to change what you already have.  If there were, everybody would be smooth and perfect and beautiful, and nobody would ever visit the plastic surgeon for anything at all.  There would be homeless plastic surgeons on the street with signs that said OUT OF WORK, PLEASE HELP!!  EVERYONE JUST BOUGHT A TUBE OF CREAM FROM MACY'S, AND NOW NONE OF THEM HAVE ANY WRINKLES OR CELLULITE AND I HAVE NO USEFUL JOB SKILLS.  

All you can do is:
1.  Keep your skin clean.
2.  Moisturize.
3.  Exfoliate.
4.  Use SPF every day.

If you do all that, and you feel like you look wore out, either let it go and just don't worry about it, or go to a doctor and spend the money you would have spent on a million different bullshit creams to have a little bit of maintenance work done.  I'm not gonna hate on anyone for that, if it makes them happy.  But don't bleed cash because you feel bad about yourself and you think that something in a jar is going to make any kind of noticeable change in how you look.  That shit is dumb.  

Buy cheap, bland skincare products that take good, healthy care of your face, and spend your money on makeup you like (because a lipstick is always going to do what lipstick does) and just deal with it.  We're all gonna die, and we're lucky if we get to be old.  If you have something that droops and you hate it, go see someone who went to college to hoist up your droop, and move on.  We all wish we still looked perfect and taut and poreless like children, but oh well.  

55 comments:

  1. Oh god I love you so much!!!

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  2. This is brilliant, no lie. I have about a bazillion women I want to mail this to.

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  3. Read this in Google Reader. My favorite part about this post (after everything you wrote), was the AdChoices ad at the end: "Best Anti Wrinkle Creams. 5 Best Wrinkle Creams That Work. In-Depth Reviews, Prices & More. www.topicologist.com." Oh, irony.

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  4. Ahhh, thank you for this. This stuff drives me insane. Have you seen that commercial for some face cream where they claim to have "harnessed the power of your genes" or something to unlock stem cells that are going to rebuild your skin, or some bullshit? Like seriously... this cream is going to ALTER MY FREAKING DNA? As if that were even possible?

    I think the bottom line is that people (in general) don't get science. And companies are more than happy to exploit that. There is a clear and well-defined difference between a "cosmetic" and a "drug," per the FDA: a cosmetic cleanses or improves the appearance of something. That's it. No more. A drug alters the function of the human body. It's actually illegal for a company to make drug claims about their cosmetics, but the majority of skin care product marketing you come across is FULL of drug claims, because the companies just don't care. They make the claims and pay the fines, because they are raking in cash from gullible consumers who lack critical thinking skills.

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    1. yah, good point. even aside from everything i said, and everything you just said, putting a ton of shit on your face with a ton of ingredients is just asking to fuck your skim up, anyway. there are a lot of reasons not to buy that shit.

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    2. you are very smarty young lady :) I appreciate all that you investigate. My daughter told me about your blog and I find it interesting. by the way...you look like a brunette version of my daughter...

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  5. Thank you! It's like, I know this but my mere human brain can only take so many fancy words strung together and pictures of pretty people and extra digits in the price before I'm like "Well, maybe there is something to this..." I should print this post out on a card, keep it in my pocket and then read it to myself whenever I go to the mall like someone with rage or dependency issues.

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    1. just remember, magic isn't real. if you read it and it says it does something magical, it's not going to. if the words it uses sound made up, like some kind of magical incantation, it's a complete fabrication. then take the money you save and buy cool nailpolish and stuff that is actually fun to use.

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  6. Yes! I have been trying to tell my mom this for years. Some $5 Ponds and you're good to go.

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  7. Sounds like it's time to make peace with my forehead wrinkle. Luckily, I buy a multi function wrinkle cream/moisturizer/sunscreen by Neutrogena, so I don't feel like a rube for changing the channel on Cindy Crawford's Meaningful Beauty.

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    1. just get bangs. i got some lines because apparently i've spent my whole life with a surprised eyebrow thing going on. bangs work 100%, guaranteed results. i haven't seen a single forehead line in months and months.

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    2. I have curly hair and bangs have never been an option for me. Curly bangs are silly, and weird when the hair is very frizzy. I really wish I could have them because my forehead is very wrinkly while the rest of my face isn't bad at all, wrinkle-wise. Ah well - I will just have to live with it, as you said. Love your work!

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  8. Preach it. My favorite sermon from one of my favorite gurus:

    http://www.cosmeticscop.com/you-dont-need-an-eye-cream-and-heres-why.aspx

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  9. "We're all gonna die, and we're lucky if we get to be old." You should sell stickers and we should all put them on our bathroom mirrors.

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  10. I agree a jillion percent with you! The only thing I would add is to watch out for foundation that will fill your pores with all kinds off bullshit. I have had the same clean/moisture routine for years and started having horrible breakouts when I switched my foundation. After trying all the over the counter crap, I did see a dermotologist and found I had a bacterial infection caused by makeup sealing my pores with shit. After a couple of weeks of oral antibiotics, it was gone. Now I make sure to use non-comedogenic makeup and still do my cheap ass cleansing and moisturizing routine. Haven't had a breakout in over 6 months. Love your posts!!

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  11. Eye cream IS such a scam. However, I do believe that magic exists, and its name is Retin A.

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    1. Retin A or retinols is a form of vitamin A, and it is one of the few nutrients that can be absorbed topically. However, it can lead to liver damage, hair loss, and even osteoporosis in some cases, and there have in increases in such things since retinols have become more and more popular in lotions.

      In the past, lead was considered good for your skin, and for several years it is until you start to form boils and cancerous spots and die.

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    2. I'll post a little more about this down at the bottom, but while you are correct on systemic administration of Vitamin A derivatives, there are two points worth mentioning.
      1. We use systemic Vit-A derivatives for acne, and they work, and people are fine, as long as they are monitored and treated properly. Read about accutane.
      2. The amount of Retin A that one absorbs when used topically over such a small area as the face is infintessimal, and will not cause those problems. The only exception is pregnancy--when it still won't do anything, but no one would take the risk. You're not even supposed to use benzoyl peroxide when pregnant.

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  12. I feel like you have just lifted a weight off my shoulders. I'm gonna get old, and I can't do anything about it, yay!

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  13. My battle is getting this through to my mother, who has spent years smoking and in the sun and now complains at 53 about some brown spots. She's flinging money she doesn't have at magic potions that promise to undo all the damage she's done on the outside. I'm always tempted to ask if she ever looks for a magic pill to undo what she's done to her lungs, but I suppose that's not staring back at you from the mirror every day. She's always made jokes about how pale I am (by choice as I did inherit her complexion, she just has no idea what it looks like all pasty), but I can guarantee her that I won't be fighting the same issues in 23 years.

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  14. I emailed about anti-aging goos, because I'm creeping into their key demographic of buyers. This is a much better answer than I was expecting. Thank you.

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  15. Ahahaha... right on lady. My dad and I always laugh at toners and things that are "pH balanced" or designed to "restore the natural pH of your skin." Clearly these companies have never heard of the body's buffering systems. But I hear guru's all the time saying they use [insert product here] for restoring the pH of their face.

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  16. Hello Jodi, Thanks, I think - I wish I'd read that before I bought a jar of eye cream yesterday and threw away the receipt. Lesson learned.

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  17. There is also a lot to be said for simple genetics. If your parents or other family members had dry skin, zits, early wrinkles, etc., there's a good chance that you will, too, no matter what you do. The best you can do is take care of what you've got. When people tell me I look younger than I am, I can honestly say a lot of it is because of my DNA. I'm more conscious of how I care for my skin now, but I sure wasn't growing up. Just sayin'.

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  18. proof of this is the fact that I spent a shit ton of money on shampoo (which also claims it will do magic to your hair) and my hair was still greasy and nasty within hours. when i finally gave up and just bought a bottle of baby shampoo, my hair became the cleanest, shiniest hair in the universe.
    also, zit creams. i used every zit cream under the sun. you know what cleared up my skin? HARDCORE MEDICATION that dried the shit out of my entire body, and killed the bacteria the caused the zits in the first place. but i still have scarring. whatever, i'm zit-free.

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  19. You are awesome! And this is so true. I really wish that everyone in the entire world would simultaneously agree to never use special cosmetics & wrinkle cream & makeup (only face wash & moisturizer, like you said). Then we'd all look like regular people.

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    1. we're gonna look like regular people regardless, because that stuff doesn't work.

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  20. I like plain old aloe for my eye area. It can either come from a leaf of aloe or from a bottle of commercial aloe but it's nice and cool and does not make my eyes water or get all greasy up on my glasses when I'm trying to read web-comics on my Ipad at night. It's cheap as fuck and pretty safe and mostly gentle for all skin types. Not just for sunburn anymore!

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  21. my mum is an esthetician who works at a derm office, and what she tells her clients is that the thing that matters most is having a good cleanser that works with your skin type, and occasionally forking out for a facial from a well-trained professional (think of it like eating veggies for a few days to clean out your system, except for your face). the skin around your eyes IS different, but you can still use cheap stuff as long as it's gentle and be fine.
    I spend a little more and get a spa-grade cleanser (AHA and all that, plus anything else makes my ultra-sensitive skin react), and I use St. Ives at night (because it feels and smells awesome) and Clean and Clear in the morning (because it has SPF). I get the occasional zit, but the only time my skin looks really *bad* is in March - after 5 months of wind-driven Rocky Mountain snow chapping my face - and a quick facial fixes that right up.
    the key thing to remember is that, like any other organ, the better you eat, the more water you drink, the more often you get your 8 hours, and just in general the better you take care of yourself, the better you're body is going to feel and the better it will look. it takes time, but it's totally worth it.

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  22. So... I shouldn't pop zits no matter what? I should just let that shit hang out there for it's duration and not touch it? I don't want marks!!

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    1. Okay, this is kind of gross, but you can pop whiteheads. You don't want to try to pop zits that haven't come to the surface of your skin yet, because that can cause bad scarring. Some people do get scarring from popping any kind of zit though, so it really depends on the type of skin you have. I was lucky and never got any scars, even though I had a good amount of acne as a teen and popped like crazy. What I found as I got older (and wiser) is that if you don't pop them, they tend to go away much faster and cleaner. What I mean by that, is that you know when you pop a zit, the next day you get like a scab and it's all flakey and gross while it's healing? Well, it doesn't do that if you leave it alone and let your body fight off the infection without you popping it. Something you can do also is put a little toothpaste (white paste, NOT the blue or sparkle or gel) on a zit before you go to bed and it will be smaller and less noticeable in the morning. I hope this helps! :)

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  23. OK this is gross but I lance erupted white heads with a sharp pin that'd been disinfected with rubbing alcohol. If you squeeze them, it breaks a lot more skin and can lead to more pitting and scarring. If you lance it with a sharp, clean point, the build-up can leak out the hole and it won't scar any more than a tiny pin-prick. Just make sure you always, always disinfect the pin you use or you'll introduce new bacteria into the zit and make it worse and maybe infected. I have no acne scars. Not a single one.

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  24. The only thing I have to disagree with is the benzaclin situation, that shit is tank, but then again, I am a teenager, so..

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  25. This is too good. I feel like I go into a store and suddenly all these beauty companies are using science as a weapon against me! They must realize that if they just include enough fancy buzz words I will be bound to buy the product. I've got to stop this. I must not believe in magic. I must not believe in magic.

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  26. I just want to say thank you so much for mentioning that basically nothing is going to help acne. I have had acne since I was 13, like most people, so for 8 years I've dealt with everyone telling me what I need to do to get rid of it. I wash my face every morning & every night, I shower daily & use a loofah on a handle to scrub the fuck out of my back & chest, I've tried every acne wash/lotion/etc out there, I've tried all the home remedies, I've smeared the weirdest shit all over myself from the tits up, I've tried eating/avoiding certain foods, I've tried the pills (except accutane, I won't go near that shit)...nothing works & everything makes my life worse than if I just had acne. The creams and lotions either do nothing or make my entire face, neck & back break out in an ugly rash that itches like you wouldn't believe. The pills all make me sick to the point I must be within 3 minutes of a restroom for 2 hours after eating ANYTHING, or give me insomnia. The home remedies just have me depleting my stock of random shit I use for other things with no results other than scratching the fuck out of my skin with raw sugar (if anyone tells you to exfoliate your face with raw sugar, they are sadistic fuckers & you should not listen to them. You will bleed.) The only things that have helped me at all are putting a clean towel on my pillow every night, & finding a good moisturizer for my combination skin...and I do still have acne, just not as bad. I'm only 21 so I'm still hoping to outgrow it, but in the meantime I have accepted the fact that I have acne and I'm actually pretty okay with it most days. I've learned a few makeup tricks to cover it up & invested in an airbrush makeup system. When you tell me what I need to do to get rid of it you are not helping me, you are insulting me so I want to roundhouse kick you in you motherfuckin' face & pop a zit right into your goddam eyeball. I've tried absolutely everything, I'm meticulously clean about my skin, my hygiene is impeccable, I'm probably cleaner than you are even, I just got my dad's acne genes just like I got his eyes. It's all good, I only hate the cystic ones because they hurt, the rest of it I'm okay with so zip your damn piehole & let me feel pretty!

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    1. if you are in your 20s or 30s (or later, i suppose,) and you have acne, chances are it's hormonal. you can't do shit about that. i went to my derm once, and asked him if there was anything i could do to prevent hormonal breakouts, since i know i am going to get them and when i probably will, and he said NO. no masks, no medication, no washing routines, nothing. if you're gonna break out, you're gonna break out, and that's it. the best thing to do is just ignore it, and treat your skin real nice and moisturize, because at least then your makeup won't look shitty from putting it on flakey, scabby zits. you'll put your makeup on beautiful, smooth zits, and that's an actual improvement over abusing your skin and making it look worse and still breaking out anyway.

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    2. I COMPLETELY understand where you are coming from! I even get annoyed with the Proactiv commercials, or other magic acne cure promise ads, because they seem (to me at least) to imply that if you have acne, it's because you are not doing the right thing for your skin, and if you just bought the product, it would magically get better. I had pretty horrible acne also from around 13, and now I am 28. I remember thinking it would go away when I got older, and it didn't really get much better until I hit about 27. I drink a lot of water, and that seems to help, and I use a gentle cleanser (purpose) and don't scrub my face with anything abrasive, and sometimes use benzoyl peroxide as a spot treatment. Also, the aveeno sensitive skin daily mosturizer seems to be one of the few with spf that doesn't break me out. But, still, I have acne. My spouse doesn't care. I don't care.

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    3. I went to my derm at 15 because my acne was cystic on my back to the point I could barely wear clothes because the pain from the pressure was too much. He gave me benzaclin & tazorac, and some pill. I did everything he told me to do, exactly as instructed. My face, neck, back & chest broke out in a horrible rash & I got so sick I just stopped eating because I threw up everything. My mom called the derm, he told her I needed to keep up on everything & feeling like crap was just part of getting rid of the acne. I chose to just have acne because, well, he was stupid & my mom made sure he knew it. None of my (decent) boyfriends ever cared that I had zits, my fiancee doesn't care, & I really don't care. I cover it up really well in pictures & special occasions when I really want to look fantastic, but day to day I'm just like "whatever, I have acne, who cares?"

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    4. I couldn't agree with all of you more. I am 31 and while my skin has improved considerably since my teenage years I still stuffer from hormonal breakouts and I know at this point it is what it is. I am just happy for the 2-3 weeks a month that my skin looks pretty good. I have a thirteen year old son who is currently dealing with acne and all of the over the counter topical treatments just give him a red flaky rash. I have found that when he uses a gentle face wash, moisturizes, drinks lots of water and eats healthy, his skin improves noticeably. So I am sick and tired of all the people that tell me he needs this product, that product, or question his hygeine. He is a wrestler so if he didn't practice extremely good hygeine, we would have bigger skin problems to deal with. Maybe I should have him come read this post and the comments so he can see that he is not alone in his skin issues and so he understands the importance of sticking with his routine as getting a 13 year old boy to follow a skincare routine is a challenge in and of itself.

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  27. "zip your damn pie hole and let me feel pretty" is pretty much the most awesome thing I've ever heard. What a nice place the wold would be if people actually did that.

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  28. It took until my late 30's to realize that I can't put anything on my skin without it going all red and irritated. I've got super sensitive red-hair person skin and so I clean and moisturize with ONLY jojoba oil. Otherwise I look like a lobster-faced person.

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  29. Don't you just sometimes wish humans were covered in fur and we wouldn't to worry about wrinkles and age spots? Have you ever seen a dog's skin. THat shit is hideous. It's full of blotches and wrinkles and funny color mashups. Snap on some fur and BLAMO! Cuteness explosion! Fuzzy delight! They have their own cosmetics built right in!

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  30. "Makes me wanna pop a zit right into your eyeball" lmfao love it I have oily skin that gets dry and flakey if I use pretty much any kind of cleaner besides water mild soap so I gave up on finding magiclong ago lol I use vitamin e cream on my skin and face at night and just wash it off in the morning but when my skin is extremely dryi use bio oil it helps my akin feel normal and it helped when I was pregnant and my stretch marks felt like a gremlin was gonna fly out of my belly button bc it moisten my skin and soaked in enough that it was slightly more stretchy bc my marks were painful but lotion just makes me feel sticky anyhoo bio oil and vitamin e cream or Alovera is all i use :) oh and fyi using water based sex lube to shave your legs instead of shave cream works great lol its easier to get a smooth shave without cutting yourself and for me it takes slightly longer for my hair to grow back idk why but it works good

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  31. Fantastic post. During a derm lecture in vet school, a professor went on a similar tirade about the amount of money people spend to supposedly enhance/fix/repair/etc. a layer of dead cells.

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  32. Oh thank you thank you thank you! I'm 36 and dealing with the start of visible wrinkles and hormonal brown spots. I'm broke, but even when I wasn't I never bought anything but soap and body lotion. Walking through the stores I sometimes feel niggling guilt that maybe I should shell out for some of this crap, because I am neglecting my skin. So thank you, for being one more person telling the "magic" skin stuff to "Go suck it, fancy". And thank you for not saying crap that implies I'm less of a woman for not spending scads of money to constantly slather myself in gods-knows-what. I'm not 18 anymore, and while looking good for your age is a healthy want, so is accepting yourself. So rock on!

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  33. Thank you!! Geez, there are so many products and chemical names out there I can't wrap my head around it all.

    I do wonder about retinol, though - from what I've heard, that stuff really is close to magical. I'm in my late twenties and have been wondering if I need to take some preventative measures for my already-appearing crow's feet and parentheses. I read somewhere that actresses who seem to defy youth (Aniston, Lopez, etc) are so wrinkle-free because they used Retin-A as acne treatment growing up, and it helped to prevent wrinkles. Is this just more bullshit? Does anybody know before I run to Walgreens and shell out for Roc??

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  34. Natalie Dee, you are my hero!

    (You've been my hero for like ten years already, but just wanted to let you know. This is the icing on the hero cake. The delicious, delicious hero cake.)

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  35. Natalie, I live in MI, have similar skin to you, and face the dry flaking every season. Even if it's still warm out, my skin knows Fall is coming. The only thing I've found to work on my dry spots is Aquafor (it's an ointment). Dab at night and a dab in the morning. Neutrogena with SPF35 on the rest of the face. Good to go! Thought I'd share for all the dry skin Northern girls ;o)

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  36. The dermatologist isn't the best person to ask about hormonal acne, as they typically aren't educated about hormones and how to regulate them, which is why I thought my obgyn was better suited for the question. I was right and my face has been flawless for months. I didn't want to take birth control pills anymore, as they were ultimately making my skin worse and Dr. Berger (most awesome feminist lady doctor ever) has taken the 16 years of hormonal acne I've suffered (age 12-28) and made it disappear. She explained that when your diet sucks and your trace minerals are low, you are not getting the nutrients from the foods you eat and that makes your hormones act all wacky. The vitamins she recommended are expensive but so fucking worth it. They are considerably more expensive than if you just went to Dr. Berger's office, but since not everyone lives in Los Angeles you can get them at Whole Foods or on Amazon.com.

    I AM going to tell you what the vitamins are called, BUT: you don't start out taking 6 tablets a day. You start out with 1 tablet at breakfast and 1 tablet at lunch or dinner. You must allow your body to adjust to them slowly. THIS PART IS IMPORTANT. If you don't do it this way, expect stomach upsets/poor absorption/etc. Trust me- I tried to rush it, too. You want to ultimately take 6 tablets a day, and I now do 3 at breakfast and 3 at lunch, but you can divide them however you want. Dr. Berger recommends that you give your body two weeks before you start taking 3 tabs a day for two weeks, then 4 tabs a day for two weeks etc. Up your protein intake when taking these vitamins. Chicken or fish or tofu- whatever. Lots of water and minimal caffeine/alcohol/sugar. She told me that a therapeutic dose would be 6 tabs a day for 6 months but my face cleared up in 3 months (not even at the full dose) and I am NEVER going to stop taking them. I also have more energy and my moods are more stable, etc. They are called Gynovite and they are absolutely worth a shot if you are experiencing hormonal acne. The only thing I never tried was Accutane and now I don't have to. Good luck.

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  37. just want to go on the record as finding acne scars weirdly attractive. like maybe my brain mixing them up with other sorts of scars and think they make you some badass action hero.

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  38. Dove had a moisturizer that smelled great and made my skin a bit...luminous with some sort of microsparkly stuff. But there must've been cancer in it because it disappeared after about 2 years. :( Anybody know what happened to it?? It is so hard to find something that actually works a little "magic" as Natalie says...

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  39. This is totally amazeballs brilliant: good plain common sense. And boy, that's stuff's so uncommon it seems like magic when you come across it. You know, like unicorn horn in a magic cream, what with unicorns being all rare (and therefore magic)... oops, and imaginary: like magic cream :(

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  40. Motherfucking golf clap.

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