I always I want to say HELLO, LADIES, but I know there are dudes who read this, too, so I don't want to be non-inclusive or whatever. YOU DUDES MATTER. EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE OK.
Do y'all wanna talk about hair removal? I SURE DO... kinda. Actually, I wanted to write about something that wasn't makeup or nails to break things up a little.
Generally speaking, I am not an especially hairy person. I have arm hair and leg hair and stuff, but it's kinda blonde, and I don't get much facial hair, and what I get is also pretty pale. I dye my eyebrows to get them to show up. Aside from that, I have been married for more than 8 years, so I'm comfortable with not shaving my legs for a couple months because I am basically out to pasture at this point. I am pretty confident my husband wouldn't dismantle our family because of my leg hair, and there isn't anyone else in the world who is gonna see how hairy my legs are. I'm just keeping it real with y'all before I get into this, so you don't think I am trying to reinforce some kind of societal pressure to be totally hairless and inoffensive. I don't care what you do.
For my face, I wax and/or tweeze my eyebrows (but y'all already knew that) and then I use that little buzzy thing to get the fuzz once in a while. You can't really see the hair on my face at all, but I find that my makeup looks a little better if I get rid of it. I use the buzzy thing because every other method of removing facial hair REALLY fucks my face up. Depilatories irritate the hell out of my skin and makes me look like I have a Kool-Aid mustache for so long that my facial hair has almost grown all the way back before the mustache goes away. Yucky, and really feels bad. If I wax, my face breaks out all over the place, and makeup over fuzz looks better than makeup over a ton of zits. I've never used bleach because my facial hair is already pretty blonde. I really only need to get the fuzz every couple months, though, and to say I need to is overstating it.
For my legs, I just shave them. I usually use a la-di-dah fancy razor with a million blades and moisture strips or whatever. I don't think they shave much better, really, but if I use the Bic-style ones where the whole thing is disposable, I have a tendency to completely maul myself and the shower ends up looking like Psycho. I even managed to completely shave my pinky fingernail off once with one of those. It makes me kinda dry heave typing that out for y'all to read, because I briefly revisited the situation in my head, and I still am bugged out about it years later. Right now I am actually frowning real hard and shaking my head like NO NO NO NO NO. NOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooo....
I don't use depilatories on my legs for the same reason I don't use them on my face. They don't work that well, unless you are trying to give yourself dermatitis, in which case they work great!
As far as crotch stuff goes, I think removing all your pubic hair is creepy. I think the pubic hair designs like landing strips or Bermuda Triangles or whatever the fuck are weird, too. First off, I think making people (men or women) remove secondary sex characteristics to be attractive is pretty fucked. Secondly, my forays into shave-y, waxy crotch stuff tend to end in sadness, since wearing clothes over an area you just napalmed sucks, and when it grows back it sucks. A bunch of stubble and ingrown hairs isn't very sexy, in my opinion. The part of my brain that jumps to the worst conclusion is always super-concerned about going to the bathroom with irritation/ingrowns/nicks or whatever in that whole area. I just always think I am gonna get a massive abscess or pick up some weird infection from the bathroom at Fresh Market, and I am gonna have to get my ham sandwich surgically removed. That being said, I don't go full vintage pubes, I trim with a trimmer and shave stragglers for the sake of tidiness. (Look at all these trimmers! They all do the same thing! Don't get a nose one, though, those wouldn't work to do landscaping at the intersection.) I am not going to scorch the earth. That stuff is there for a reason.
All that aside, if you go whole hog on the pubic hair situation, and it's hot out, doesn't it get real sweaty and slimy and you feel like you have swamp butt? THE ANSWER IS YES. I went ahead and answered that rhetorical question for you.
ANYWAY, I thought we could talk about this issue in the comments. Y'all know I am not trying to play it off like I am the final word on stuff, I like hearing suggestions if someone has something groundbreaking to share, or techniques to avoid slicing off your fingernails or getting bad news irritation or whatever. Also, I wanted to lay some ground work with this post because I am gonna do a post on epilating as soon as I get a little more leg hair (OH GOD I KNOW IT'S GONNA SUCK, BUT IT'S GONNA BE FUNNY HOW I DO IT ANYWAY!!)
Now, y'all can tell me if this is an accurate assumption...
When you are looking at a makeup blog, and the person writing it is reviewing a particular product, and the post is just a bunch of pics and a description of what it is, then they wrap it up by saying WHAT DO YOU THINK?? without saying what they think, I automatically conclude that the writer is on the take and full of it. Like, if you don't have an opinion, don't write about it? Maybe? It's pretty clear that they got an offer of something free in exchange for a post, and they don't want to say anything about it that their cosmetic sugar-daddy wouldn't like. Just throwing it out there, maybe that's an inaccurate conclusion to draw, and I am just a bitch about everything.
Let's do a few contest updates! I got a lot of requests, so I am gonna dish them out a few at a time because there is some major-league list-writing happening up in here (up in here.) One thing I noticed, which is not a judgement call or anything, is that everyone used a lot of different products. I mean, I use a lot, but I always thought that was my secret shame or something, so I kinda liked seeing everyone's lists. I'M OKAY. YOU'RE OKAY. WE'RE ALL OKAY. Let's take a look at some ladies and their makeup. If you requested info on someone and they aren't listed here, hold your horses, cause I got about 9 billion more to post and I thought it would be more palatable to split them up into a regular feature or something until I get through them all. LET'S LOOK!!!!
OK, first we have 05... She is wearing:
Pink Skin79 BB Cream
Maybelline Fit Me Concealer in Fair
Vegan Cream Rose Blush in Dusky Rose
Rimmel Stay Matte Powder in Transparent
Oily Lid Shadow Primer in Dark Buff
Maybelline the Colossal Volume Express mascara
ELF Coffee eyeliner
ELF lipstick in Nostalgic
Miss 17!! She's got this stuff all up on her business!!
NARS Pure Radiant Tinted Moisturizer in Finland
Amazing Cosmetics Amazing Concealer in Fair
NYX Stay Matte But Not Flat Powder Foundation in Ivory
Sephora Collection Hydrating Powder Blush in Rose Petal
(this seems to be AWOL.)
Sephora Collection Colorful Eyeshadows Palette
(the caramelly and dark brown shadows.)
Clinique High Impact Mascara
Anastasia Eyebrow Mascara (dark golden brown)
Revlon Super Lustrous Lipstick in Really Red (matte)
Number 21, AKA The Contest Winner...
ELF Eyeshadow Primer (she doesn't like it, FYI.)
Maybelline PureStay Powder Foundation in Ivory as
Revlon ColorStay eyeliner in Black
Bed Head eyeshadows in Black and Vanilla
Flirt brown eyeshadow palette
MAC Studio Tech NC15
OCC concealer in Y0
Wet n Wild blush in Heather Silk
Ben Nye blush in Cool Pink
MAC eyebrow pencil in Stud
MAC Brow Set in Beguile
Maybelline Lash Discovery waterproof mascara in
Cover Girl Lash Blast waterproof mascara in Blackest Black
Milani Lipgloss in Secret
ALRIIIIIGHT!! Good game, good game! Y'all really put that stuff on yourselves! If I mis-linked one of your products, let me know! I think I did OK on most of them, but a couple of them I guessed on if it wasn't totally clear.