Maybe It's Tomorrow, but Maybe It's Not.

I will be the first to admit that I never know what day it is.  Basically, the only difference between my days is that 4 days a week, the sitter comes to take my kid while I work, and 3 days a week, she doesn't.  So, instead of Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, I have "Must be a day during the week" and "I guess it's the weekend."  It's simple, but it makes it hard to write checks and remember what day I have to get my yearly pap smear.

This is  my yearly calendar:  "Must be a day during the week," "I guess it's the weekend,"(repeat those two 52 times) and "I better shower cause it's Pap Smear Day."

Anyway, I got caught up in not knowing what the fuck was going on, so I just realized it was Friday and I hadn't blogged yet.  Y'all don't get to bitch about it, though, cause I double blogged last week.



I hear that you guys have greasy eyelids!  And you have a hard time keeping eyeliner on and it smears all in your eyelid grease!!  

I am going to start out by making sure you're wearing eyeshadow with your eyeliner, cause if you're just wearing eyeliner, it's gonna be sitting in the middle of your cheek by lunchtime.  If that is the what is going on, put some eyeshadow on!  I know you are probably sophisticated enough that your problem is more complex than this, but if this is your problem, let's fix it in the cheapest, easiest way possible.  You don't even have to wear complicated, colorful eyeshadow.  You can wear a nude or taupe shade that doesn't even look like anything. 

If you're saying to me, DON'T BE DUMB, OF COURSE I HAVE EYESHADOW ON, AND THAT SHIT CREASES, TOO... then, you gotta get out the big guns.  You need to get some eyeshadow primer.  Primer is going to give your eyelids a more matte finish, and give your eye makeup something to stick to.  Y'all know I am on that "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" thing, so I will say that I use Urban Decay Primer Potion, and that's all I've used because I got a tube back in 2005 or something, and it worked well, and lasted forever, so I just rebuy that when I run out.  It's pretty popular, but there seems to be some other brands around, too, so you can try whatever captures your imagination.  I just like what I like and I would be mad if I wasted my time and money trying something new and then hated it and had to go get some more Primer Potion anyway. 

As far as eyeliner goes, you have to experiment and see what works best for your level of greasiness.  I've had problems with some eyeliners transferring to the area near the crease, and it's usually a cheaper liquid eyeliner, or an eye pencil.  I think eye pencils in particular like to creep around, because they are waxy and your body heat is going to make it melt and move around more.  You can try waterproof eyeliner, but I'm gonna be real with you and say that I don't like that shit very much.  It's hard to wash off all the way, and hard to get it to look right when you put it on.  I usually save the waterproof stuff for my lower lash line.  If you like a heavier, liquid-y eyeliner look, try Tarte Waterproof Clay Liner (the only waterproof liner I like enough to use a lot) or Maybelline gel liner.  For whatever reason, I've had a lot of luck with potted eyeliner.  It's pretty tenacious, and it is a little easier to put on.

I've had the most luck, in terms of keeping my eyeliner from migrating, using primer + a powder-based liner.  I've used this Bare Escentuals Retro kit a lot, it's just loose black powder that you slap on with the angled brush that comes in the box.  Alternately, you can use a brush like this to do push liner with a regular eyeshadow of your choice.  I'll show y'all how to do push liner when I do a full-on eye makeup post, but you can find info online about it if you Google it in the meantime.  Powders and shadows don't melt, so they are pretty low-maintenance for your day-to-day eyeliner needs.

Yeah!  Eyeliner!  


A recurring question I've received from people in the last week or two is "What do you do with your hair when you workout on days you don't wash it?"  I usually put it up with a claw (to prevent a rubber band kink), and try to cool down a little before fucking with my hair.  That way, I'm not flattening my hair down with sweat and making it look all sad and limp.  Usually, I work out, then put on my shower cap and take a cool shower and get all washed up, and by time I get out, my hair is not damp from being sweaty anymore.  Then I just use my dry shampoo and brush it.  The first day after I wash is not a big deal, and subsequent days, I know I'm gonna tie it up anyway.  

Nobody is gonna notice if your scalp is a little salty.  The dry shampoo is going to keep you smelling fresh, and you're gonna wash your butt and stuff so who cares.  Grooming yourself is just like cleaning your house...it's not about being perfect.  You pick up a little here and there, do the dishes when you're out of spoons, dust mop the dog hair off the floor, and your house always looks good enough.  Same with your beauty rituals...  You make sure you smell good all the time, have a couple easy hairstyles and low-key makeup looks to fall back on when you don't feel like getting balls-out fancy, and you're always gonna look good enough.  It's when you obsess about everything being just so, and having everything perfect, that everything goes all bowl-shaped and your house is a sty that you haven't cleaned in two weeks, and you are wearing yoga pants and a bandana everyday, and you have to put a bra on at 6pm to greet the pizza guy.  Who cares if you worked out and your hair has a little salt in it?  Do you care?  Do you think your man cares?  (He better not care, because every dude I've ever known has hair that smells like 100% head grease and nothing else.)  

If you feel gross, just hit the reset button and wash your hair.  If you don't, let that shit ride.


I have a few posts in the pipes, but if y'all can think of anything you'd like me to review, drop me an email and let me know.  Maybe I will collect emails of product review requests and set up a poll or something, and but whatever you want me to review the most.  I got a bunch of points on my Amex to use, and I was planning on using them on some makeup to try out, so give me some direction...  you know my email address, I've told you like nine thousand times.

Also, I've had about half a million page views on here already, that's pretty tight!  Thanks to everyone for reading and sharing my site around and all that!  See?  You can have a middlingly successful makeup blog without sucking the frosting out of Sephora's asshole.