HELLO PEOPLE/Drugstore Lip Stuff/Gel Strips

I trust y'all had a decent holiday...  Mine was alright.  I tell you what, though, the transition from the laying-on-the-couch-style holiday break and the my-kid-has-no-school-and-is-bored-in-my-face-while-I-am-trying-to-secretly-make-her-dreams-come-true-style is a bit much.  That shit is over the top.

The elephant in the room is obviously the month long hiatus on this blog...  I was set to post in mid-December, but then there was that shooting and it seemed gauche/callous/yucky to post that day about vain stuff, then the holidays popped up with the combo of extreme busy-ness and no school/childcare, and now here we are!  I'm back on the regular weekly/sometimes more often than weekly schedule now, though.  I got some posts planned and some videos, and I am going to have a contest but I need to think more about how I am going to run it, since there aren't any cosmetic company people telling me what to do and how to run it and what the prize is gonna be.  Actually, I already know what the prize is gonna be, cause I already bought it, but I need to plan the contest itself.  If anyone has any great ideas, feel free to share them, otherwise I am just going to pull something out of my ass.

SO!  I'm just gonna do a quick-n-dirty post about STUFF!!

Dear Satan

Sorry, misspelling "Santa" as "Satan" just tickles me.

Last week we talked about what to get for other people, and this week I am gonna talk about what I want, and y'all can talk about what you want.  I get fatigued during the holiday season, shopping for everyone, then I get to the point where I just want to buy stuff for myself and say fuck everybody.  I don't actually do that, though, I just fantasize about it.  Actually, not only do I not buy myself stuff, I don't even really get presents from the people who live in my house.  Everybody's birthday is in October, and mine is at the very end of October, so we usually just get Nona presents so her childhood isn't destroyed, and buy something for the house instead of Drew and me getting something in particular, since we all just got presents a month ago.  Not very fun.  Last year we got a chest freezer.  This year I think we are replacing our chipped up dishes.  Whoop-dee-dooooo!

So, this is my fantasy Christmas list, if I actually got Christmas presents and also was rich haha.

SOOOOOOOO...

I've been laying low on here for a minute since I've been working on a new project.  Maybe you've seen it already the couple times I've linked it from Facebook, but I haven't linked it officially on any of my real-life websites.  BUT HERE WE ARE!!

Beauty Boxes or: That Time I Got Free Stuff

I've been hearing scuttlebutt about all these monthly subscription beauty sample things that have been popping up lately, and I've got a lot of emails from people asking what the deal is/are they worth it/is the stuff good/blah blah blah...

The thing is, I am cheap.  I don't really like spending money on stuff I don't 1000% want. I've heard that a lot of the box subscription things, like Birchbox or Glossybox or whatever, sometimes send crap like designer bandaids and hair ties and stuff that is not exciting, not makeup, and seems like filler.  Also, I've heard shipping is slow... basically, all I've heard is people complaining, and I just didn't want to spend my money on something I heard was sucky, when I could save my money, or spend it on something awesome that I want.

Then, I got an email offering me free stuff.

A Love Letter

I'm gonna go off the chain here.

I know that I am pretty skeptical.  I am SUPER good at finding flaws in stuff, and I never believe that any product is going to save the world and make everybody happy forever.  

BUT!  BUT!  Like, what if I found something and, like, completely fell in love?  What then?  Well, I would write a post like this where I spit a bunch of poems and flowers about it.  

Stuff I Put In Myself: Stinky Pasta

I've been sick for the last couple weeks.  A fun thing they never mention to you before you have kids is that, when you have kids, they get sick all the time.  The important detail they leave out is how they always give the sickness to YOU, then you stay sick forever because you have to take care of them and take them to the doctor and keep running the house and feeding them and all that bullshit, so you never get any time to recuperate.  Last time I got a cold, I was sick for weeks until I got a sinus infection.  The sinus infection moved into my eyeballs and I had green snot sticking my eyelids shut every morning, and I had to pry them open before starting my day.  Nothing that gross happened this time, but I have had a cold for longer than I would have liked.

Glitter Nails/Makeup Blogging/Redesign

I. LOVE. GLITTER. NAIL. POLISH.


It is so cheerful!  When you are stuck sitting at a desk all day, seeing your glittery fingers clicking around improves morale.  Let's talk about it!

Ciaté Caviar Manicure Battle Royale

A while ago, I saw the Ciaté Caviar Manicure linked from somewhere (I can't remember where, sorry.)  I was intrigued but put off by the price... I saw it linked on some European site, so the slight priciness of the kit + the cost of international shipping was a bit much.


When I started this blog, one of the first requests I got was from a lady asking that I try it out.  I was still a little apprehensive about it, though, because the cost of shipping made it too much for a nail polish.


BUT!!  On Mother's Day, I made my family take me to Sephora (it's MY DAY, dammit, we're going browsing!!!)  While we were there, I saw they started stocking it, so I picked one up.  It was very much an impulse buy.  I like doing my nails, but I am not much of a "nail art" person.  It seemed fun, though, so I got it thinking it would look weird and gross, but it would be comedic and we'd all LOL our brains out before I took it off.

Fingers & Not Eatin' Them

One of my first memories as a kid was biting my nails.


No, that's a lie.  I don't remember the first time biting my nails.  By time I had memories, it was a firmly-entrenched lifestyle.  Pro-level, cannibalistic nail biter.


I tried many times to stop.  Many, many, many.  Until I got to college, none of my attempts lasted longer than a day.  When I had my first successful (not actually successful) attempt, my nails were weird and bad.  I guess gnawing on my fingers for 17 years damaged my nail beds, and the nails that grew out were THIN.  They were so thin, they were like razor blades and I would slice the heck out of myself with them.  They were also so soft that they would bend all the way back, then flop right back into place.  VERY VERY GROSS.  Yuck.  Luckily, I went to sleep one night and woke up the next morning to find that I had chewed all of my nails off in my sleep, and put them in a little pile at the corner of my mattress like a complete nutcase.

Question/Makeup Remover and Nails

Hey, Everyone!  Thanks for checking out my new site!  I've been getting a lot of feedback from y'all, and that is making it a lot easier for me to keep trucking along.  That being said....


Q: As a fellow pale chick, I am having the experience that finding foundation that matches my skin and is not just poorly made, hardly covers anything.  Makeup is a pain in the ass. I would love it if you suggested some brands or general tips for pale skin foundation matching.


A:  Lookit us, back on that Q and A stuff.  Meeeeeemoriessssssss............